10 things you should discuss before the wedding
The wedding is a wonderful and important event in the life of the newlyweds. However, it often happens that in a couple of months, suddenly it turns out that with you there is not at all a person who seemed originally. And family life is not always a joint walk and evening viewing of films on one couch, but serious work. Couples need to learn to find compromises, listen to their half, support it and at the same time keep warm feelings. That’s why before you go to the crown, you need to discuss the vital aspects on which to build a joint life. What you need to discuss before the wedding, read in our article.
Of course, a couple who marries does not even think about divorce, but, unfortunately, every third marriage ends in failure. Experts on family relations are sure: this is because the spouses in advance did not find out the important things about each other, and the divergence of views subsequently led to a rupture.
Discuss before the wedding: The main root causes of divorce
Unwillingness to live together. Early marriages are stronger all the time because neither the husband nor the wife is ready for family life. This does not manifest itself in the inability of a man to hammer a nail, and his wife to cook a borsch – rather, in reluctance to seek compromises and to resolve domestic troubles not by scandals, but by peaceful negotiations. Read more: Saving Money For Web and Seo Services
Bad habits. It is after the stamp in the passport that it turns out that your faithful abuses alcohol, loves gambling, or disengages his hands. Of course, one does not want to tolerate such behavior to anyone.
Married life. Here we include the preferences in sex, and physical infidelity, and disharmony in everyday life (inability to share responsibilities and agree). Such couples are at best the constant clients of a psychologist and sex therapist, and at worst – find out the relationship in court.
Incompatibility. Different characters and views – this is not the reason for the divorce, but the reluctance to accept your partner as he is, it’s a failure. Religion, bad habits, peculiar hobbies, parenting are the main stumbling blocks. Read more: Nine accessories to get a spectacular Christmas table: Christmas edition, by Zara Home
The marriage of convenience and finance. When money comes into play, feelings rarely remain. And the eternal lack of money and lack of basic amenities is unlikely to rally the pair and make the union stronger.
We do not in any way believe that every union is doomed, but marriage is a hard, stubborn and necessarily joint work, and not a game in different gates. Before you bind yourself by the bonds of Hymen, think about what questions to ask your half, and what else do not you know about it?
TOP-10 things to discuss before the wedding
The better you learn the chosen one before the ceremony, the easier it will be for you to adapt to family life
Children. How many children want to have your chosen one (and whether they plan at all), what he sees the process of raising a child. After all, it may turn out that he wants a big family, and you are not ready to give birth to more than the first and sacrifice your career. Or another scenario: you dream of a child, and a man always has excuses and counterarguments. It’s better to put all the dots over the “i” at once.
Financial questions. Do you have a general idea of financial responsibilities, savings, and budget? Who will be the “accountant” in your family, will the budget be unified, what percentage do you agree to postpone for certain purposes? Sometimes a reasonable solution will be a marriage contract: in our country, they are wary of him, but in fact, it is a common practice. The contract prescribes all the items, and will not have to conflict over the money.
Accommodation. Discuss where you are going to live in the future (even in a remote place). If you are planning to move abroad, the spouse must know about it. In general, you need to clarify for yourself all the nuances, especially if it is connected with the move. Ask yourself if you want to live in a new city, is there an opportunity for self-realization, career growth? If there is no home, the more you need to discuss plans for the living.
Domestic issues. It would seem that there is nothing complicated in the household, but it’s unpleasant to clean up 24 hours a day when the faithful has collapsed on the couch and soccer is watching peacefully. To assert that the economy is a woman’s business is stupid because at our age many women work and tired no less than men. Therefore, discuss in advance what work your spouse is willing to take. Let it be buying food or participating in general cleaning, but it will be much easier for you.
Confidence. Of course, there are no crystal-clear people who would never conceal anything. But this should not concern serious issues. Do you know everything about the health of your half (physical and mental), his debts, friends, loyalty, finally? In a family where there is no trust, life turns into a constant game in the detective. If a woman constantly checks the correspondence of her husband in social networks or SMS messages in the phone, she is pathologically unsure of herself and absolutely does not trust her spouse. And now think, what atmosphere will constantly reign in such a family?
Sexual preferences. Psychologist Karen Philip argues that the degree of trust can be determined by talking to intimate topics. If both partners can easily talk about problems and preferences in bed, liberated during sex, then their marriage will be more harmonious. If the couple is satisfied with an intimate life, it is unlikely that someone will want to destroy the union and decide on treason.
Parents. Many newlyweds after the wedding have to live with their parents, and the relationship between them is not always warm. Unfortunately, instead of acquiring a son or daughter in the person of a son-in-law or daughter-in-law, relatives acquire an enemy. It makes sense to discuss how your life will be built, how much influence from the outside will be on your family, how you will solve your problems. Ideally, parents should not interfere in your affairs, and certainly not solve your conflicts.
Work, hobbies, interests. This question will be relevant for the nature of active and changeable. For example, a man of the creative profession often goes on business trips, and not always his half agree with this. What are you ready to marry for? Are you ready to refuse, say, an extreme hobby, if your soulmate does not like it? Can you donate a project abroad if you have to leave your family for a year?
Religion. Did you try to talk about the spiritual needs of your partner? On the moral and moral education of future children? It also happens that one of the future spouses has to change the religion – this issue should be considered. It is necessary to accept the person as he is, with his ideologies and foundations, will you decide on this?
Are there things you are not willing to give up? For someone, this is a favorite activity, albeit a dangerous sport, for someone meeting friends on Saturdays, and for someone, annual trips to holy places! Each person has his own desires and needs, and they need to be accepted, rather than trying to remake at their own discretion.
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